Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.

"But we're not stupid -- we know we're called Gred and Forge." -George Weasley

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough."
-Ron

"We had to write about our hero at school Mr. Mason; I wrote about you." -Dudley

"His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad
his hair as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he's really divine,
The hero who conquered the dark lord." -Ginny

"A study of Hogwarts prefects and their later careers," Ron read aloud off the back cover. "That sounds fascinating."

Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..."

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

"We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us." -George Weasley

(Harry just been greeted by Percy...) "Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-" "Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." Percy scowled. "That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley. "Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seized her hand too. "How really corking to see you-"

"How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding. "The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley. Everyone looked up at him. "Why?" said Percy curiously. "It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-" "-for Humongous Bighead," said Fred.

"I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth...your dark hair...your mean stature...tragic losses so young in life...I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?"
"No," said Harry, "I was born in July."

"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry--young, carefree, and innocent--"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."

Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So--after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating--"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul--"
"Jordan, I'm warning you--"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

One of them was a very old wizard who was wearing a long flowery nightgown. The other was clearly a Ministry wizard; he was holding out a pair of pinstriped trousers and almost crying with exasperation.
"Just put them on, Archie, there's a good chap. You can't walk around like that, the Muggle at the gate's already getting suspicious-"
"I bought this in a Muggle shop," said the old wizard stubbornly. "Muggles wear them."
"Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these," said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers.
"I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks."

"Anyone can speak Troll, All you have to do is point and grunt." -Fred Weasley

"'Constant vigilance!' You'd think I walk around with my eyes shut, banging off the walls...." -Harry Potter

"Wild! I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again...and again...and again..." -Ron

"That'll change the world, that report will," said Ron. "Front page of the Daily Prophet, I expect, cauldron leaks."

"Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" said Fred. "That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" said Percy, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!"
"It was," Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. "We sent it."

Dudley had done the thing he was threatening to to do since age three: He had become wider than he was tall.

"I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."

"Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. According to Mr. Crouch...as I was saying to Mr Crouch...Mr. Crouch is of the opinion...Mr. Crouch was telling me... They'll be announcing their engagement any day now."

"Don't be prat, Neville, that's illegal," said George. "They wouldn't use the Cruciatus Curse on the champions. I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry."

"Aaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born."

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

"He got off, he got off, he got off-" - Fred, George, and Ginny

"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair.
"I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside..."

"Don't put your wand there , boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"
"Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.
"Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.
"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit
grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin..."

"I said to him-didn't mention names, of course-but I said I knew a werewolf personally, very nice man, who finds the condition quite easy to manage...."
"What did he say?" asked George.
"Said he'd give me another bite if I didn't shut up," said Mr. Weasley sadly.

"-but you get these massive pus-filled boils too," said George, "and we haven't worked out how to get rid of them yet."
"I can't see any boils," said Ron, staring at the twins.
"No, well, you wouldn't," said Fred, "they're not in a place we generally display to the public-"
"-but they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the-"

"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

"You have not asked me, for instance, what is my favorite flavor of jam, to check that I am indeed Professor Dumbledore and not an imposter."
"I didn't..." Harry began, not entirely sure whether he was being reprimanded or not.
"For future references, Harry, it is raspberry... although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself"

"Why Are You Worrying about You-Know-Who?
You SHOULD Be Worrying About
U-NO-POO -
The Constipation Sensation That's Gripping the Nation!" - Fred & George's Ad

"Arthur, is that you?"
"Yes," came Mr. Weasley's weary voice. "But I would say that even if I were a Death Eater, dear. Ask the question!"
"Oh, honestly..." "Molly!"
"All right, all right... What is your dearest ambition?"
"To find out how airplanes stay up."
Mrs. Weasley nodded and turned the doorknob, but apparently Mr. Weasley was holding tight to it on the other side, because the door remained firmly shut.
"Molly! I've got to ask you your question first!"
"Arthur, really, this is just silly..."
"What do you like me to call you when we're alone together?"
Even by the dim light of the lantern Harry could tell that Mrs. Weasley had turned bright red; he himself felt suddenly warm around the ears and neck, and hastily gulped soup, clattering his spoon as loudly as he could against the bowl.
"Mollywobbles," whispered a mortified Mrs. Weasley into the crack at the edge of the door.

"Hermione, will you shut up, you're not the only one who's nervous!" barked Ron. "And when you've got your eleven 'Outstanding OWLs...’"
"Don't, don't, don't!" said Hermione, flapping her hands hysterically. "I know I've failed everything!"

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing, nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir"
"There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor"

"I'm a teacher!" he roared at Harry. "A teacher, Potter! How dare yeh threaten ter break down my door!"
"I'm sorry, sir," said Harry, emphasising the last word as he stowed his wand inside his robes.
Hagrid looked stunned. "Since when have yeh called me 'sir'?"
"Since when have you called me 'Potter'?"

"Harry's already Apparated," Ron told a slightly abashed Seamus, after Professor Flitwick had dried himself off with a wave of his wand and set Seamus lines: "I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."

"...but now that big Hufflepuff player's got the Quaffle from her, I can't remember his name, it's something like Bibble -- no, Buggins --"
"It's Cadwallader!" said Professor McGonagall loudly beside Luna.

"And they'd love to have me," said Harry sarcastically, "We'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in."

"Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit." - Remus Lupin

Friends they might be, but if Ron started calling Lavender "Lav-Lav," he would have to put his foot down.

She's Ron's sister
But she's ditched Dean!
She's still Ron's sister.
I'm his best mate!
That'll make it worse.
Not if I talk to him first-
He'd hit you.
What if I don't care?
He's your best mate!"

"It's one of Fred and George's spell checking ones...but I think the charm must be wearing off..."
"Yes, it must," said Hermione pointing at the title of the essay, "because we were asked how we'd deal with Dementors, not 'dugbogs,' and I don't remember you changing your name to 'Roonil Wazlib,' either."

"A ghost, as I trust that you are all aware by now, is the imprint of a departed soul left upon the earth... and of course, as Potter so wisely tells us, transparent."
"Well, what Harry said is the most useful if we're trying to tell them apart!" said Ron. "When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"

"You'd think people had better things to gossip about,' said Ginny, as she sat on the common-room floor, leaning against Harry's legs and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest.'"
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. 'Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning." And what did you tell her Ron's got?"
"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where."